ADOPT A PENGUIN _____________ HELP SAVE PENGUINS - Your Number 1 Source of Penguin News Stories Home    News Archives Flat Earth, Penguins and Ice Walls, Aden Investigates...  -- Feb 2007 By Dean Becker It is common knowledge that the largest turtles (the great leatherback sea turtle) are only around 80'' tall. Using faultless circular reasoning, this must mean that the Turtles are regular sized and it must be the Elephants which are not regular! Could it possibly be that we have a rather rare breed of shetland elephants? If so, could we possibly track down some of these beasts; I know i'd pay a pretty penny for a tame Shetland elephant (on an off-topical side note: if anybody knows of where one could buy a pocket penguin - directions would be much appreciated). Which leads me on to the question: Do the animals have a rotation system? I mean, carrying the earth for eternity must be a fairly tiring task. Yes, the view's great but the benefits must be lacking in which must be such arduous work? What you also may ask yourselves is: Why would these burly animals use their strength to keep an Earth full of conspiracy theorists afloat? Worthwhile, the pudding says not. I digress, after wasting the last five minutes of your life with a rant the likes no Adopt a Penguin has ever seen before, I will move on to the real bite which your cookie begs for, the icing on your proverbial cake or the odd-shaped battery chicken in your not-so-wholesome Chicken McNugget. Yes, weight-watchers, i'm talking about the fabled "Ice Wall" It is thought that the "Ice Wall" is guarded by a crack team of Government operatives (which Government, don't ask - the explanation is rather flaky) who are trained in the art of glacier warfare... Back to Page 1                                                                             Continue to Page 3